Resources for Navigating Loss

Finding a Grief-Sensitive Therapist

• Search for therapists who specialize in perinatal loss or birth trauma and who incorporate somatic, spiritual, or integrative approaches.

• Look for key terms like: somatic experiencing, EMDR, mind-body therapy, grief doula, perinatal mental health counselor.

• Postpartum Support International (many resources online) as well as local doulas can provide referrals for therapists in your area
  
  

Books & Gentle Reading

• “Empty Cradle, Broken Heart” by Deborah Davis (gentle guidance for parents navigating baby loss)

• “At a Loss” by Donna Rothert (finding your way after miscarriage, stillbirth, or infant death)

• “Healing After Loss” by Martha Whitmore Hickman (daily meditations for grief)

• “The Wild Edge of Sorrow” by Francis Weller (on grief as a soul process)
  
  

Podcasts for Soulful Grief Support

• The Joyful Mourning (a podcast for women navigating baby loss, faith-based but very gentle)

• Grief Out Loud (heartfelt stories from many perspectives)
  
  

Instagram Accounts

• @pregnancyafterlosssupport

• @themiscarriagedoula

• @miscarriagehopedesk

• @the_worstgirlgang_ever

• @breathingafterloss
  
  

Holistic & Spiritual Practices for Healing

• Herbal allies: Chamomile, rose, lemon balm, milky oats, and motherwort for calming the nervous system.

• Ayurvedic & TCM wisdom: Warm cooked foods, avoiding cold/raw to protect digestion and emotional balance.

• Ritual & Ceremony: Journaling, lighting candles, planting a tree or flower in memory, creating a ritual bath with rose + lavender.

• Community care: Seek out local grief circles, women’s circles, or ceremonies where loss is honored in community.  Local doulas often know how to connect you with the right group.
  
  

Stopping Lactation After a Loss, by Ashley Shapiro, IBCLC

Losing a baby is a profoundly painful experience and managing lactation during this time can feel overwhelming. This guide provides practical steps to help you navigate this process.

Why Milk Production Continues

After pregnancy, your body produces milk whether your baby is nursing or not. Lactation is a natural process, but there are ways to safely and comfortably reduce milk supply.

Steps to Stop Lactation

• Avoid Breast Stimulation
  - Refrain from expressing milk unless necessary for comfort.
  - If your breasts feel full or painful, hand express or pump just a few minutes to relieve discomfort, but not long enough to empty the breast fully.
  
  
• Cold Compresses
  - Apply cold packs or chilled cabbage leaves to your breasts to reduce swelling and discomfort. Replace cabbage leaves every 2-3 hours.
  
  
• Wear a Supportive Bra
  - Use a snug, supportive bra to minimize movement and reduce stimulation. Avoid overly tight bras as they can cause clogged ducts or mastitis.
  
  
• Over-the-Counter Pain Relief
  - Ibuprofen, Nature Profen, or Arnica can help manage pain and inflammation. Always follow the recommended dosage.
  
  

Herbs to Reduce Milk Supply

• Sage
  - Contains natural compounds that reduce milk production.
  - Prepare as tea: steep 1-2 teaspoons of dried sage in hot water for 10 minutes. Drink 2-3 cups daily.
  - Sage tinctures (15-25 drops) can also be taken 2-3 times daily.
  
  
• Peppermint
  - Menthol in peppermint has been shown to decrease milk supply.
  - Enjoy as a tea or use peppermint oil (diluted) in aromatherapy.
  
  
• Parsley
  - Known to reduce milk production when consumed regularly.
  - Add fresh parsley to salads, smoothies, or steep in hot water for tea.
  
  
• Jasmine Flowers
  - The aroma and topical application of jasmine flowers may help suppress milk.
  - Apply flower oil directly to the breasts or use in a diffuser for aromatherapy.
  
  
• Chasteberry (Vitex)
  - Regulates prolactin levels, which are essential for milk production.
  - Consult a healthcare provider before using as it may interact with other medications.
  
  

Homeopathic Options

• Pulsatilla: Often recommended for emotional healing and reducing lactation.
  
  
• Phytolacca: May help reduce engorgement and milk supply.
  
  
• Always consult a qualified homeopath or healthcare provider before starting homeopathic remedies.

Dietary Adjustments

• Reduce Fluid Intake
  - Limit excessive water consumption to prevent stimulating milk production.
  
  
• Avoid Lactogenic Foods
  - Reduce intake of foods known to boost lactation.

Signs to Watch For

While stopping lactation, watch for signs of complications:

• Engorgement: Swelling and fullness that doesn’t improve with time.
  
  
• Clogged Ducts: Hard, tender spots in the breast.
  
  
• Mastitis: Redness, fever, or flu-like symptoms. Seek medical attention if you suspect mastitis.

When to Seek Help

Contact a lactation consultant if you experience:

• Severe pain or signs of infection.
  
  
• Prolonged emotional distress.

*Disclaimer: This is not individualized medical advice. Please reach out to your health care provider for medical advice. Ashley Shapiro consults patients virtually and can be found at https://ashleyshapirolactation.com